Sibling Rivalry: Why I Don’t Even Try to Keep Everything “Fair” Among My Kids

I think that sometimes as parents, we waste too much energy of trying to keep things equal amongst our kids in the hopes of avoiding sibling rivalry. One child gets guitar lessons? Well then we better sign the other one up for ballet. One child gets a new pair of shoes? Then we need to take the other one shopping for fashion boots. And the more we try to keep things “fair” and balanced- the harder it is to maintain. Why? Because we are teaching our kids to expect it! You are creating the model that dictates when one child gets a new coat because her sleeves barely reach her wrist that the other kids should expect a wardrobe upgrade as well- whether or not they actually need one. And you are teaching them to make comparisons with one another and to expect things to be equal. Which leads to sibling rivalry.

The more we try to keep things "fair" and balanced- the harder it is to maintain. Why? Because we are teaching our kids to expect it! And you are teaching them to make comparisons with one another and to expect things to be equal. Which leads to sibling rivalry. Here’s why I don’t even try to keep everything fair among my kids:

Truly, “fair and equal” is just not how life works! Should it really be how a household with kids functions?…

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