I know that this statement is going to seem a little strange to many of you….. but I do not think that the most important thing that my child can do upon graduation from high school, is to attend the very best university that he or she can get into. Do I think that a college education is important? Absolutely. But do I think that paying absolutely any price and using whatever means necessary to obtain the funds to cover the tuition, just because a “great” school accepts you…. is the way to go? Not in any way. I think colleges should be evaluated on a cost vs future benefit basis. And the answer for every college and every student is not going to be the same.
How it all starts…
We ask our high school aged-kids to great excellent grades, play sports, do community service, and find a “hook” that makes them unique and appealing to colleges because we think that this is their first-class ticket to their future. We then help them to apply to perhaps a dozen colleges- drive them all over the country on tours of the campuses, all in an effort-to help them make the “right choice”. But when we start to approach the issue of funding this pursuit of higher education…. we are met with assurances of potential scholarships and the certainty that college loans will be available to cover the unmet costs. And we as parents feel so assured that our kids will be better off with that college degree- that their future earnings potential is so much greater with that diploma, that we enter into these debt agreements with our children as a means to that end. Without consideration of how the debt may be a burden to us and our children for a very long time to come.
But what else do we buy that way?
When we are shopping for cars- do we say- “I want the best possible car that I can buy…. and the price doesn’t matter because I will borrow money and find a way to pay for it?” Or do we say that we want to find a great car at a great price? How about even small stuff like groceries? Do we say that we want only the very best we can find ,and not worry about the cost? I sure don’t.
So why is it that we approach a college education that way, and think about price as something that we just need to “work out”? Why are we so willing to allow our kids to take on mountains of debt? From the May 13th article in the NY Times titled, “Student Loans Weighing Down a Generation with Heavy Debt“…
About two-thirds of bachelor’s degree recipients borrow money to attend college, either from the government or private lenders, according to a Department of Education survey of 2007-8 graduates; the total number of borrowers is most likely higher since the survey does not track borrowing from family members.
By contrast, 45 percent of 1992-93 graduates borrowed money; that survey included family borrowing as well as government and private loans.
For all borrowers, the average debt in 2011 was $23,300, with 10 percent owing more than $54,000 and 3 percent more than $100,000, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York reports.
This equates to a hefty monthly payment for the graduate, which easily becomes that 21 year-old’s single biggest expense. One that they wil be paying for- for a very long time. Suddenly the idea of getting married and buying a house becomes less of a possibility. It literally changes the American dream.
The real end-game
And don’t even get me started on the fact that half of college kids graduate and can’t find jobs (CBS News May 14, 2012) and end up having to move in with their parents after graduation. We tell kids to work hard and get into a good college and work even harder there, and then their futures will “take care of themselves”. And 20-30 years ago, that used to be true. But I am just not so sure that this is true anymore.
Yesterday one of my fellows iVoices Liz Henry, shared her story on iVillage. Liz was the first of her family to graduate college but after graduation was only making $8 an hour working at a cafe. Saddled with debt, Liz sounds off on her student loans and why she feels her American dream is dead.
So will I still encourage my kids to work hard in school and go to college?
Yes, I will. But when it comes time for us to look at colleges, there will be multiple criteria under consideration- and one of the biggest ones will be to work to achieve that college education without going into debt.
Want to hear some real ideas of going to college without debt?
A while back I read a fantastic book, written by Zac Bissonette called “Debt Free U: How I Paid for an Outstanding College Education Without Loans, Scholarships, or Mooching Off My Parents.”
It is full of practical advice such as considering alternatives such as attending local community college for 2 years while living at home and earning money to pay for the next 2 years of school. (Of course this assumes that credits will transfer and you will be accepted at another institution when the time comes…). And if you are like me, you might be keeping your fingers crossed that other opportunities will emerge in the next 5 years such as online university credit and decreases in the rate of tuition increases.
But as parents, we need to become armed with the financial facts of college. Because they are not what they once were.
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*photo credit: graduation cap and diploma by David Castillo Dominici courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net





{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: gettinthru
May 30, 2012 at 8:36 am
Thank you for this!! As my husband and I are working very hard to pay off our student loans while I stay home with our kids and I think ahead to paying for at least 4 college tuitions, I don’t want my kids to do it the same way we did. I value our education very much, but it’s not worth 30 years of monthly payments where we end up paying thousands more with the interest! We all need different perspectives on how to do this and how to teach our kids to do it differently.
stacey @ http://www.gettingthroughtheday.com recently posted..Guest Post by Lisa: How to Dine Out with Your Toddler
Twitter: sharonmomof6
May 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Stacey-
Thanks for sharing your point of view…. I am glad that you told us that you do indeed value your education very much, but that you also question the 30 years of payments that go along with it. There has to be some sort of balance on this issue of college and college debt…. and I feel that we as parents are just not talking about it enough and talking to our kids about it.
What a great piece you’ve written here. People get so blinded by their dreams for their kids sometimes that they forget the practical stuff, and what kind of example are we setting for our children as they watch us do this? It’s great to dream, but you have to think about the best path in getting there, and being buried in debt upon graduating from college is definitely not the best path for anybody. We have a son that is going to be a junior- a 4-year school upon graduating is pretty much out of the question for him. We’ve come to this conclusion for financial reasons, but also looking at his level of maturity. I think he could handle either college or living on his own and supporting himself, but not both at the same time at this point. Will that be the same for our other children? Not necessarily, but we have to look at it on a case by case basis. Our son has not applied himself in high school, but he is very bright and does want to attend college. We plan to let him live at home as long as he gets a job and pays for his own classes. We are convinced that he will not apply himself if we give him a free ride, so even though we love to help our kids in every way possible, we think this is an important lesson for him. I’m sure many will find your article very helpful in adjusting expectations to a more realistic level.
Twitter: sharonmomof6
May 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Angie-
You’ve made such a great point… that sometime what is best for the child is dependent on things outside of just grades and financial ability to pay…. it also depends on the student himself being able to apply himself and make the most of the opportunity. It sounds as if you have really thought this through, and thought about what would be best for him. Thanks for sharing this!
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